Processing Emotional Wounds

What does processing an deep emotional wounds look like?  To some it might be a daily event, yet to others it might be a crater dug deep into your life that you never want to approach, let alone try to work through.  For others, it’s the monster behind the locked door, vowed never to open again.  Yet to achieve full victory in our lives, we have to open that door, take the band aid off and allow God to do a mighty work.  It’s a scary process to some, but there is hope!

Below I want to give you some practical tips on how to process your emotional wounds.  Processing through a wound isn’t a quick once and done process.  For me, processing the wound of my Grandmothers death, took nearly a month of nightly agony.  I’m gonna share with you the entire process I did to gain victory and what that victory looks like today.

Background Story:

Growing up, my Grandmother was my rock in my life.  She was the one who was always on my side, no matter what.  She was the shining example of God’s love, mercy and grace.  When something happened in life, I turned to Grandma.  During the height of my deepest darkest time in my life, that of prostitution, Grandma suffered a heart attach.  I drove for hours all night to get the the hospital to be with her.  I arrived after she had gone into surgery.  Slept in the waiting room.  When she was in recovery, got to visit with her and boy was I relieved that she was alive.  A couple days later, Grandma was to be released from the hospital, so, I kissed her goodbye, told her I loved her and headed back home to continue my life of destruction.  Upon arriving home to Nashville, I went to work, my normal job, only to be stopped in the middle of my day with a phone call from my Mother informing me that Grandma had a blood clot that hit her lung, she died instantly.  This was the beginning of the end for me.  How could God, who says he loves me so much, take away the one person who I knew loved me.  Who showed me such grace and encouragement.  That isn’t love.  If that’s the love He has, well it sure isn’t for me.  Grandma’s death impacted my life for nearly 35 years.  I would break-down and sob at just the thought of her.  This was a deep crater in my life and I never wanted to try to approach it, let alone process it.  After God changed my life on January 13, 2020, He showed me there were major areas in my life that I had to obtain victory over.  Grandma’s death, one of the biggest.  Here is what I did to obtain victory over this emotional wound.

• I begin by being in a place where I could allow God to speak to me during the process.  This for me was at night, during my nightly shut-down, in my bedroom, in silence.
• I started with prayer, asking God to use this time as a healing for me to gain a victory in my life.  I asked God to remove all distractions from my mind to where I could process what He needed me to accomplish.
• The next step is to remain quiet while God speaks to your heart.  Let me share with you how I hear God at times.  When I am going about my day, or quiet in my quiet time.  When I ask God a question, normally, the first voice I hear or sense I get, I relay as God speaking.  Weigh this against the Word of God.  If the first thing I hear is to go push the little old lady out into the street, well, that certainly doesn’t line up with God’s Word, so ya, that isn’t him!  However, if the first thought is to bless someone with groceries, then I would believe that to be God speaking.  Now, when working on a wound, if the first thought you get is to forgive someone, then guess what, that’s probably God.  But, process for yourself.  When you feel something that you feel to be God speaking to you, then go with what you feel He is saying.  Don’t put it off.  I have found that when I hear God say something, if I don’t write it down, or do it, then I most times forget it.  So, either do it, or write it down.  Then, don’t delay on it.  Most times when you hear God say something, it is to be done as soon as possible.  It could be a great blessing or need for someone to be encouraged.  In processing a wound, it could be the next step to your recovery.
• Once you get your assignment, do it!  Action is the steps to recovery. If you feel the Lord saying to forgive someone as I did, then that could be the key to your healing.  When I was processing through my Grandmother’s death.  Many times God would bring up to forgive or think about something.  When he said to forgive my Grandmother for dying, that was one of the two hardest things I had to process.  How was I to forgive a person who I couldn’t see, couldn’t talk to or be with.  So, I did the chair method of communication.
  • 1)  You put two chairs facing each other.
  • 2)  You sit in one of the chairs, you visualize the other person sitting in the other.
  • 3)  You start telling the person in the chair what you want to tell them.  I had to tell my Grandmother I forgave her for dying, but before that, I had to tell her thank you for being such a great Grandmother to me.  All the things I wanted to tell her, that I didn’t before she died.  After that, it got real serious.  I had to tell her how disappointed I was in the fact that she didn’t eat properly and take better care of herself, thus causing the heart attack.  Then I had to tell her how she should have taken better care of herself in aftercare of the open heart surgery.  Then ultimately I had to tell her how hurt I was in her passing away.  Having left me alone and how badly that hurt me.  Not just for the moment, but for years and years to come.  I had to tell her how that she was robbed and robbed me of getting to see me grow up, have a family and all the joys that my Daughter had brought me.  Now you can see where this took a while.  I went through a lifetime of memories I wanted her to be a part of.  After each one of the above, I did the following.
  • 4)  I would switch chairs.  I would go sit in the chair she was in and I would visualize her telling me how she wished she could have been there to be a part of the parts of my life.  How she was sorry for dying and leaving me alone.
  • 5)  I would next change bake to the chair I was originally in.  This time I would tell my Grandmother how I accepted her apology.  The hardest part ever.  This was a point of feeling a release of my past hurts.
  • 6)  Now you must ask God to fill any void in your life with the Holy Spirit.  The Bible say that if you leave a void in your life or spirit man that the devil can return to that void seven times worse than before.  So huge important step in this processing.  Don’t forget this step.
  • 6)  This process can go for quite a while.  Do not rush through it.  This is where true healing comes.
• I had to process this with my Grandmother and then next with God.  Much the same process.  I had to tell him I forgave him for taking my Grandmother and robbing me of so much joy and happiness in my life.  From this, I found a great since of freedom and a deeper realization of who God was and wanted to be in my life.

I want to encourage you.  Process through all the different parts of your life where you have felt trauma, betrayal and wounds.  For me, I had to forgive people I had experienced sexual encounters with.  Because this is an emotional cleansing and processing with God, if you start to feel triggered during this time, go back to asking God to help you process.  Because you are dealing with deep hurts, I found this not to trigger me to temptation, but to process a forgiveness.  Each part that you process through will bring healing and restoration.

This is the process I and many others have used to find part of the healing process that we need to overcome our addiction.

I pray the following for you:

“Father, as my friend processes their wounds to find a deeper sense of healing and restoration found only in You, I pray that You will be with them from the beginning to the finalization.  I pray that You will fill them with Your Holy Spirit when You remove the wound from their minds and hearts not leaving any void in them to be robbed or filled with evil.  Father I pray that You will restore my friend the the fullness of the joy and life that You originally desired for them.  Father I pray that You will set them free from all wounds, hurts and loss of joy in their life.  Let them find only the freedom that is found in Your Holy Precious Name.  Amen.”

As always, if you need assistance in this or have questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your Group Leader or myself for help.