Me: Morning fellas!
Shame: You’re awfully chipper this morning.
Guilt: Yeah, you might want to rethink that.
Me: Relax, guys, I just woke up.
Guilt: You probably should have gotten up after your third alarm. Starting another day behind.
Shame: You’re so lazy. You do this every time.
Me: I know, I am trying, though.
Guilt: Maybe you should try harder.
Shame: Maybe you should stop trying.
Guilt: Shame, he can get better. He has made changes in the past.
Shame: How many times have we said that before?
Me: He’s not wrong.
Guilt: He’s just so mean sometimes.
Shame: I’m not mean, I’m just keeping it real. This is why we can’t keep a job or a relationship or any meaningful thing in our life.
Guilt: Man, I hate feeling this way. I wish we could just do better.
Me: Me too. Me too.
Shame: Not going to work.